My first serious date was in 2004.I was only 22, in my second year at school, and a leader of some sort in school.However, the young lady in question was a far cry away from who I was or what I was supposed to be. She was brash, wild, but beautiful.
I remember going back to Lagos to tell my mother,of blessed memory, about this girl.I showed her this girl’s picture.The only expression my wise mother gave was a scowl and then a forced smile.I got the message.
My sister was the one who spoke up.She said, ‘George, that girl is not your type.’ I was annoyed but it was the bitter truth.
I thank God that relationship didn’t work out.Knowing the kind of person I am, a loyalist, that relationship may have resulted in marriage. But after 3 years of struggle and pain and unfaithfulness from that lady, I had to walk away from it.
Let me share with you some thoughts that can help you quickly know whether that relationship you are in right now will result in marriage.The following tells you when to break a relationship
1.WHEN THERE IS EXTREME ARGUING AND FIGHTING: Yes even well matched couples may have a series of misunderstanding, but overall, if your fights outnumber your periods of peace, then you have something to worry about.
2.CONFLICTING GOALS AND VALUES: My first serious date was not going my way.I struggled to accept that fact.There is no point following someone who isn’t going your way.The person MUST share similar or complimentary passions and also share similar values. One of my dates used to tell me that I was so busy I didn’t have time for her.What was I busy doing? Pursuing my vision and dreams. If she was doing something similar and related, we both would have seen so much of each other in the place and pursuit of my interest.Our interests.
3.SEPARATION: First, I don’t believe in long distance relationships. I have seen a lot of corp members display unfaithfulness while away from their boy friends or fiance.One of those mails I received told me about how his girl friend got pregnant at the orientation camp.His discovery of the fact was devastating to him.When I chatted with this facebook friend of mine he was surprised to realize that I had a similar experience with someone I had trusted.
I also don’t believe that an old man of 35 should marry a woman of 22. The age bracket is wide. No generational connection.I have spoken with many ladies who say they prefer that.When I see such wedding ceremonies I really feel like vomiting. Somebody obviously would die earlier than the other.
4.EXTREME PHYSICAL INVOLVEMENT: One of the reasons I had to walk away from my first serious date was that it was too physical, if you know what I mean.It also kept me far away from God. My break up with that lady was a great relief.I didn’t have to repent EVERY TIME i was on my knees to pray.
When the sum total of the relationship revolves around physical thrills the both of you receive from each other, it is time to break that relationship.
Sex blinds us from the others mistakes. It makes us accept the others flaws.
5.ABUSE: Don’t tolerate ANYONE who beats or abuses you. If he beats you the first time, he will beat you again and again. His promises are all a lie.
Obviously, there are many other things you must consider before you quit that relationship. Don’t suffer in silence. You deserve the best. Stop managing. Go for what you want.
There was one of my dates who told me she had to move on. Initially, I was devastated; I desperately needed the relationship to work. Most of my friends knew about it. I had met her parents, and they knew me. She had met my parents too.Both parents had even met…but she came to me one day and told me that she had to move on.And she meant it.
There was somebody else, or wasn’t there?I had to eventually let her go. She deserved the best. And if I was not her best it would be unfair to allow her struggle through.
So know when to break UP AND MOVE ON.You deserve the best. Cheers.